Awareness of the Mind/Pain Relationship

If you are thinking of suicide, it is likely that the pain in your heart is what is feeding your mind. Your mind is telling you to do it, to end it all because the pain you feel is unbearable.  If you can learn to separate your mind from your pain you can start to remove the idea of suicide from yourself.  

If you have spent the time doing the writing meditation you will know that what you tell yourself in your mind is not how you feel.  Just because you say something over and over again doesn't mean it's true, right?  So if you continue to tell yourself that suicide isn't the only option what good will it do?  Logically it holds the same weight as saying that you do want to kill yourself.  What your mind says is what your heart or pain tells it to.  If you can train your mind to separate itself from your pain you will begin to make smarter choices based on what you choose to.  The pain isn't a choice but what you let your mind say or do is.  

How do you do this?  Awareness.  Everytime you make a statement like, "I want to kill myself" or "I want to die" or "I want to commit suicide" it is your mind choosing to actually say or think the words.  You may feel the pain deep down, but the words that form are from your mind.  The more aware you become about what you allow yourself to declare or believe the easier it will be separate.  Your pain is separate from your ideas of suicide and the faster you become aware of that the faster you will learn to see that there are other roads to take.

Continue the writing meditation and now add the awareness factor.  Every time you feel pain do not allow the mind to interfere.  Do not react with words or statements or decisions about suicide.  Simply acknowledge how you feel and become aware of the wall in between your pain and your mind.  If the wall has crumbled now is the time to rebuild it.